guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
