Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
