glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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