This is not my ceiling
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
