So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
