I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
