i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
