Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize