he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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