And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize