We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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