so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I need moral support for this bender
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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