i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
