i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I want her autograph on my taint
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
