Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
