There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize