THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
