I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
