In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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