i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize