I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We talked him into tasing himself.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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