Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
