Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
