Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
