Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
