Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
