So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
