Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I will pee on everything he values.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I want to be your penis for a week.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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