we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
