just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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