i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
how does that bad decision feel?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
