All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my being single is dangerous.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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