We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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