He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
