to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Less talking, more tequila
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
