my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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