I CAN MOONWALK!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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