is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
