I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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