Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
