Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize