I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
