also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
