So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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