We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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