Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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