your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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