im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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