She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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