After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
