discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
