In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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