This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
