super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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