You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
