I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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