Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
