but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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