Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
home. puking in laundry basket.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
