I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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