Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
