Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
