is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize