he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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