Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
