Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
