Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
