Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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