Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
