margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
