i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
